tastebudds

First up. Mark’s Place. Sounds cheesy. It’s like the owner, (presumably someone by the name of Mark) couldn’t be bothered to come up with a more resounding name to distinguish itself. I mean, it’s like whenever I talk to someone who hasn’t heard about Mark’s Place, they’ll be like oh, who’s Mark? I had to ask that question the first time I heard it, and I just thought it was so corny and lazy. It’s like:

Me: ‘Hey we’re going to Mark’s Place for dinner. Wanna come?’
Them: ‘Hmm ok, but I don’t know Mark and where he lives.’
Me: ‘Oh no, Mark’s Place is the name of a restaurant.’
Them: ‘Oh.’ *turns away in embarrassment*

So bottom line is it’s bloody irritating to keep telling them that Mark’s Place isn’t really the home of someone I know by the name of Mark.

And so quickly diving into the issue, we find that Mark’s Place is often patronised by Asian students, and to cater for them, the waitresses are Asian as well. So if you’re against Asians in anyway, don’t go there. No, actually get out. We don’t want you on this site. You shouldn’t even be here you racist dingo. And because Mark’s is situated on the corner of Swanston St and Grattan St, this little Italian café is easy to spot with it’s bright pink and blue mural spread across it’s exterior brick wall.

As we were ushered to our seats, we were greeted by a stock standard laminated menu that looks more like a dingy placemat than anything, with stripes of red and green everywhere, in an attempt to establish itself as an ITALIAN restaurant. I, for one, like to go to a restaurant where you can open the menu, and there’s nice, posh looking leather cover that says menu. And I found it quite overwhelming as I walked in to find so many Ferrari car posters plastered on every wall, and then there’s a footy ranking list, a projector screen and a tv. I don’t mean to diss them solely on their décor, but it feels like a teenager’s room, only larger. And with swinging doors to the toilets harking back to the cowboy days, I don’t know what to believe. It really kills the ambience for a nice casual dinner where you can catch up with old buds. Too many distractions. Just who came up with the décor?! Mark himself?

Ok so there’s pasta and pizza, yeah the works. We ordered Penne Carbonara($10), Fettucine Vegetarian($10), and Spaghetti Marinara($11). I had the Vegetarian, which, shockingly, had broccoli and cauliflower in it. I was imagining more of an exotic selection of vegetables, maybe with a drizzle of olive oil as well, but then it looked like cauliflower and broccoli with ketchup. No-no. Don’t eat it even if you’re a vegetarian; get a salad if you must.

Fettucine Vegetarian
tastebudds

Penne Carbonara
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Liwei had the Carbonara. It was simply presented, with a sprig of parsley on the side, which he quietly placed aside. He thought the Carbonara, while creamy, was too heavy for him. He decided that the sauce was way too thick to slide smoothly down his throat, so he ended up having to PURCHASE a bottle of water (I talk about this in just a bit). The bacon pieces were more like cubes you can buy from the deli section of the supermarket. But at least they were generous with it. So bacon lovers, you know where to go. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Drink lots beforehand.

Spaghetti Marinara
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Of all the pasta dishes we tried, the Marinara was the best. It distinctly had a seafood smell, which totally engulfed out noses and so all we could smell was seafood, though I suspect it’s because they hadn’t cooked it properly so it still smells like the sea. Hmm. But since none of us had food poisoning I strike that off. It had mussels and clams and a couple of prawns. Not too bad la. It’s probably one of their better dishes.

But what really irks me is the lack of water. They just don’t serve you water. As in for free. Like they took the water ban in Victoria a tad too seriously. So if you become thirsty (which you most probably will) you have no choice but to order a drink from the menu. READ: You have to. Michelle brought in her water bottle and placed it on the table. She sipped and then she was told nicely by one of the many bored waitresses that she wasn’t to drink from her bottle. Well, as least she was courteous….

Okay I think I’ve become biased against Mark, so one thing good is the service. They are nice, young pretty Chinese girls there so there might be some eye candy there if you’re interested. They are attentive and smiley, so I guess they hired the right people. They dress in black. How original.

Honestly, we weren’t the least bit thrilled to have dined there, but if you’re into the Simpsons and cannot miss a SINGLE episode (like my brothers), even for dinner, then Mark is the Place for you. Or if there’s a footy game on you want to catch. On the final note, interestingly, Mark’s Place is the only Italian restaurant I know that isn’t on Lygon. Now that’s something to think about.

12/20 budds

680 Swanston St, Carlton
(corner of Grattan St)
T 9347 0474